I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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