we have pet lesbian snakes
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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