I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
