I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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