Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
