I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
