ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
