new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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