I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
