Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize