He is such a slut. More and more my type.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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