I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
is wine microwaveable?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
