What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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