actually, I'm a sock model
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
