Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
