careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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