So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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