i just wanna soil my oats bro
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
