i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Say something about gay babies.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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