You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
