How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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