Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
