My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
COCAINE IS GR8
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
