I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
