he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I want to fling myself into the sun
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
