She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
