just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
