it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
