Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
