Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
