Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
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