I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I AM VODKA MAN
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
