Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
