my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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