I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
