Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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