I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
