Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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