Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
