He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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