first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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