The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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