i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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