Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Two words: blizzard sex
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
