That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My liver just had a heart attack.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
