Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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