Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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