You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Sorry about my life...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
