Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
