so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
