She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
