It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize