Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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