so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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