So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
