I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
