HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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