Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize