Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
