he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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