Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
